In light of the pending Tiger Woods press conference, Mo’Kelly is going to offer a special look into the future and tell you in advance what Tiger Woods will say. Nowhere else in the world will you be able to find out just what exactly Tiger will offer to the public (in advance) except here in The Mo’Kelly Report.
If you didn’t think Mo’Kelly was psychic before, you will now. Remember, Mo’Kelly is going on the record TWO days before the press conference. No need to tune in…HERE is what Tiger will say, in no particular order with the exception of first thanking his wife.
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“I want to apologize to my wife first and foremost. She has been amazing through all of this and I couldn’t have made it through this without her support. I could never thank her enough.”
“I want to apologize to all the young people out there who I have let down.”
“My father taught me better. I think about what he would say and that’s why I’m here talking to all of you today.”
“I want to thank all my friends, especially Jesper Parnevik who have not given up on me and continued to support me throughout this difficult time.”
“I have to set a better example for my children and young people everywhere.”
“I’m not a perfect man.”
“I’ve been spending time just working on myself and my marriage and getting my family back to normal, because my family is the most important thing in the world.”
“Golf is just a game…this is real life. I’ll return to the game of golf when I’m sure and my wife is sure that our relationship is strong enough to move forward…because family is what’s most important to me.”
“Thank you to all of those who understood and respected that this has been a private matter and will continue to honor our privacy moving forward. This is about family.”
“I’ve now established a foundation/created an awareness campaign/will donate proceeds from future tournaments/name my next child accordingly…in order to help fight the dreaded disease of sexual addiction.”
“I did not have sexual relations with that woman.” (Oops, that was out of the Bill Clinton handbook…strike that. He DAMN sure won’t be saying that.)
Well there you have it. No need to tune in. In fact, The Mo’Kelly Report will check back after the press conference and align his remarks with the predictions here. And Mo’Kelly isn’t talking about “general sentiments,” Mo’Kelly means, word-for-word. Let’s just see how psychic Mo’Kelly is…
[Stay tuned…the new mrmokelly.com website is coming to you in 2010. Set your browsers now.]
10 responses to “Mo’Kelly the Psychic – Tiger Woods Prediction”
You forgot to mention that he will be returning to golf in the spring. After all, what wife wants a husband at her heels 24/7. And, let's not forget the sad drop in television viewers since his absence. Maybe his competitors think otherwise, but the sport wants him back very, very, soon.
Whatever he has to say to get back on the course as soon as possible, by all means Tiger, say it.
Then just shut up and play.
I agree Walt, that's all this is. He's not taking questions tomorrow and he's obviously not going to take questions when on tour…so all of this is academic and an exercise for posterity sake. It serves no real purpose other than a bridge back to playing.
Tiger has enormous value as a golfer. With a club in his hand he is pure genius.
He has no other value than as a golfer. The Tiger Woods Foundation would not exist but for his success as a golfer.
He has lost enormous amounts of prestige, not least from the sport he's done so much to promote. His fellow golfers once held his perfectness in total awe; they would say, on the record, what a bad idea it was to cross Tiger in any way. He was a man not among men, but above men.
All of that began with his formidable skills as a golfer. If he ever expects to matter again, he must become what he was before, a dominant figure on the golf scene.
Otherwise, he's just one more person who had everything they could ask for and gave it all away by acting stupidly.
I now know that Tiger has two special skills.
He is one eloquent man.
I was near tears by the end, and they were tears of sincere appreciation for what he's dealing with and how he's dealing with it.
In a world in which we are all to willing to judge one another, a world in which it would seem to make more sense to minimize, deny and defend, Tiger has taken the completely opposite course.
Perhaps the smartest thing he did was wait this long to speak. He's clearly been doing some growing.
He touched all the bases. This statement has to satisfy anybody with a normal interest in the affairs of others. Anything beyond that is not his problem, and to those who say "Tiger forgot he's not in charge" I say, he doesn't have to abide by your rules. He can and should abide by his own. As long as Tiger can look in the mirror and know that he's doing the best he can, he can chalk up another good day.
And everybody else will have to deal with it however they choose.
It was about what I expected, but I took exception to Tiger "chastising" the media, as to what questions they can ask in the future and what Tiger will answer because as he put it…it's "between my wife and I."
Not really. If it were, he wouldn't have been holding a press conference today. If there weren't public text messages and voice mails…he wouldn't be having a press conference. If he wants the media to not ask questions about what's supposedly going on in his marriage, then keep his marriage out of the streets and his "issues" out of the media in the first place.
If all he wants to be is a "golfer" or only talk about golf with the media in the future, stop taking the endorsement deals. Just play golf and do more than that. No commercials, no foundation, no paid appearances, just golf. Otherwise, his family life is worthy of public commentary.
You were on point with your predictions! You truly are a PR expert. But I found some of the outtakes from his conference. Take a look: http://bit.ly/bPGjvJ
Not so.
Walt, the 911 tape is public record. He leaves a voicemail on my phone, I'm free to post it or share with the public. He sends me a text message the same applies.
And since ALL of his endorsement deals have morality clauses, it DOES matter and it is RELEVANT what he does in his personal life.
He doesn't have to answer ANY questions from the media regarding these issues and it is his right.
He doesn't have the right to say the media can't ask. The media's job is to ask. The public will decide whether something is newsworthy or not, not the principal figure in the discussion.
Are you saying the media shouldn't have asked Clinton about Monica Lewinsky? How is that any different? Only ask whether he committed perjury but not about the nature of the affair?!
I'm saying nobody has a right, moral or otherwise, to follow his kid to school and publish the location.
Crap like that.