This Black History Month moment is sponsored by…John Mayer.
In a recent interview with Playboy magazine, both the predictable and unpredictable happened. Predictably, John Mayer is now in a state of PR crisis management. Unpredictably, what preceded was Mayer dropping an N-bomb. His “mistake,” for which he is extremely “sorry” came in discussion of his burgeoning Black fandom; whether he had managed to crossover in reverse from White to Black audiences.
“My two biggest hits are ‘Your Body Is a Wonderland’ and ‘Daughters.’ If you think those songs are pandering, then you’ll think I’m a douche bag. It’s like I come on very strong. I am a very…I’m just very. V-E-R-Y. And if you can’t handle very, then I’m a douche bag. But I think the world needs a little very. That’s why Black people love me.
Someone asked me the other day, ‘What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?’ And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a n***** pass.”
Oh really John?
This would be the same John Mayer, raised in Bridgeport, CT…educated at Berklee College in Boston…THAT John Mayer? At what point exactly did he complete his PhD on the social intricacies of urban life in African-American communities?
Maybe it was his subsequent time living in Atlanta he began to develop his theories of “hood life” and who could pass freely back and forth. Maybe that was it. As they say, “some of his best friends are…”
Let’s get the obvious arguments out of the way right now so we can move forward and have an honest discussion. Yes, let’s be intellectually honest as to why Mayer’s remarks are so utterly offensive. We need not try to hide behind specious excuses which obfuscate the important underlying issues here.
First, whether it traipsed from Mayer’s lips with an ‘er’ or an ‘a’ as the second syllable is neither here nor there. Save it. The etymology of the word is the same. Its historical connection to the Jim Crow world of yore has not changed.
Secondly, his talent as an artist (though tremendous) does not in any way mitigate the offensive nature of the remark. In the way that El DeBarge’s superior talent doesn’t make his issues with domestic violence any more palatable, neither should John Mayer’s exceptional talent make this transgression more tolerable.
It’s about the remark, not the talent of the person from whom it was uttered. My offense is equal and does not discriminate. Be it John Mayer or the Black mayor of Washington D.C., it’s all the same.
The word causes a cringe irrespective of it emanating from rapper or racist. Rick Ross or Dog the Bounty Hunter…the etymology does not change.
Remember this is Black History Month. Let’s not diminish the importance of the history and how we all arrived at this point. A Black man in the White House does not mean we are a post-racial nation and that “N*****” is now somehow ineffectual and irrelevant.
Thirdly, any apology is worthless. If John Mayer was “so comfortable” to drop the N-bomb during an interview in which he likely had no personal relationship with the reporter and knew the tape recorder was running…we can only imagine his private oratory with friends and family. The intimation that either he was EVER accepted in the “hood” or that the words “hood” and “N*****” are “interchangeable” speaks to an unimaginable ignorance.
Let Mo’Kelly assure everyone reading; the “hood” knows nothing about John Mayer and no “N****’s” (his word) live there.
Musically, Mo’Kelly is…or check that…was a John Mayer fan. From his vocal stylings of Daughters to his guitar virtuosity at the funeral of Michael Jackson, John Mayer is clearly a consummate musician and performer. And rightly so, he earned the respect and recognition of his African-American fans along those lines.
But to the heart of the matter.
If Elvis Presley should have taught non-African Americans anything, it’s that musical acceptance within the African-American community lies less with talent and more with genuine respect for the community. Dr. John’s acceptance is a good example as are jazz saxophonists David Sanborn and Tom Scott. Harry Connick Jr. is an excellent example. It’s not about talent, it’s about sincerity and respect.
Any given week, one can turn on American Idol and see the full color spectrum singing in the African-American gospel tradition, likely unbeknownst to them. They riff, rip and run up and down the musical scale, often times with little or no inkling of the history behind the singing style. They most often imitate Mariah not realizing Mariah took her cues from Aretha who took her cues from Mahalia.
For every non-Black singer succeeding from week-to-week on American Idol, there are dozens in every Black church in every city of America who can sing the best of American Idol under the table.
Yes, under the table.
Kelly Clarkson and company would get embarrassed in a talent sense at virtually any Black church here in Los Angeles alone. That’s just the truth of the matter.
Meaning, African-Americans aren’t in any way wowed, impressed or taken with musical imitation, despite how supposedly sincere such flattery might be. The “sincerity” which matters most is the level of respect in one’s approach. It’s the perceived lack of respect in which Elvis took from a tradition while failing to properly acknowledge and pay homage in the process is why Elvis is so often frowned upon within our community.
To bring this full circle, it really doesn’t matter how “well” or how “Black” John Mayer can play if in between riffs he’s apologizing for referring to us as “N*****s.”
He can keep his guitar, his music, his apology and his “broad appeal” for that matter. Mo’Kelly doesn’t need Mayer to like or appreciate the music of Black people or even to play like us. Mo’Kelly needs Mayer to respect us first and foremost. Genuine respect would have prevented such remarks from Mayer. Genuine respect would have replaced the need for any apology after the fact.
So yes, it is rare when White performers who first gain acclaim in the pop world find acceptance (i.e. reverse crossover) into the African-American community. And it’s even rarer when those who have been welcomed in, ever make it back after being kicked out.
If John Mayer ever did have a “hood pass,” it surely has been revoked.
RELATED: John Mayer Apologizes/Cries (VIDEO)
[Stay tuned…the new mrmokelly.com website is coming to you in 2010. Set your browsers now.]
62 responses to “John Mayer: Supposed ‘N*****’ Pass Revoked”
Morris,
What a shame that, here in Black History Month, you take a man who is clearly sensitive to the fact that he can never be black nor accepted by people in "the hood" the way a black person would,
And stand it completely on its head.
Mayer's mistake was to apologize. He just should have said "Read the entire interview, and check with me if you still don't get it."
This is just another one of your diatribes because somebody said something IN A WAY you disapprove of.
Never mind their intent. Never mind if you stole a phrase which altered the entire meaning.
All's fair when somebody crosses Morris' Race Detector.
Morris, your Race Detector is way off on this one.
You took a wrong turn and ended up in Saskatchewan.
I hope you have the guts, after two posts which missed the mark so entirely, to take a step back, say "Whoa, Mo" and re-assess.
Sometimes white folk can use that word, Morris. Sometimes it's the clearest way to make a point.
Why are you so ready to pounce on a good person?
Amazing.
Mo, I for one think you are spot on. WHY is it continually suggested that we allow people to make these sort of racist comments? For what reason would I give Mayer or anyone else a pass 'because clearly he didn't mean it as it sounded which is why he apologized'. Give me a break. The reality of this is that maybe, just maybe, these celebrities should understand that there is a line that they shouldn't cross, they they should steer clear of said line! I am so with you on this commentary.
Mr. Bennett, I don't think that Mo said white folks CAN'T use the word. It is indeed a free country, and if you feel the need to use a word that could potentially get you punched in the mouth, by all means, have at it.
The issue here is with the arrogance & IGNORANCE Mayer used in spouting off the word like that (and unless you know him personally, don't give me that BS about what he "meant"). Ignorance and arrogance is a horrible combination, and judging by the staggering number of verbal missteps Mayer has made recently, he has an abundance of both. I find it amazing that you can be so quick to jump to his defense, when what he said was CLEARLY offensive. Sometimes when you have no standing to speak on something, it's best to "stay in your lane." If that's too "hood" for you to comprehend, go ask your idol Mayer to translate into Anglo for you. I'm sure he won't have a problem, since his "pass" won't expire until midnight tonight. *lol*
Mo I am with you also and anyone that thinks you are blowing this out of context is crazy. And to think you did not even address the part where he totally insulted black women. His statement about his d&@! Being a white supremicst just showed me that the rest of him surely followed closely behind.
Leslie…I didn't even include the Black women parts because I didn't want the essential message to get lost. Yes, he clearly has a total disrespect of Black people.
Mo, this moron doesn’t respect ANYONE. Look at how he speaks of his exes. He has no class and no respect. I don’t know how on Earth his ego has gotten to the point where he thinks he can do and say anything he wants, but honestly, outside of you and me, I don’t think there are in actuality a huge number of “US” singing along with Waiting on the World to Change. He’s got himself way too gassed up, and he needs to grow the hell up, get his mind together, and do a self-imposed interview moratorium until he can learn to use common sense before he opens his mouth!!!
Moi, I agree…he wasn't THAT loved in the Black community…which was the main point of me saying that the Hood doesn't know who he is. This will dog him for a very, very long time.
Morris,
If the best you can come up with is: " he clearly has a total disrespect of Black people", which is so clearly NOT the case, then I have nothing further to add to this discussion.
If you at some point come to your senses and admit that you horribly twisted his words and very clear meaning, I'll rejoin the discussion.
Like I said Walt, you jumped out there too soon. He's already on record with calling his penis a White Supremacist and a slew of disparaging remarks to Black women and his lack of attraction to them specifically.
You've played yourself Walt…you should've better researched John Mayer before jumping out there.
"Do black women throw themselves at you?
MAYER: I don’t think I open myself to it. My di@k is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fu@kin’ David Duke co@k. I’m going to start dating separately from my di@k."
PLAYBOY: Let’s put some names out there. Let’s get specific.
MAYER: I always thought Holly Robinson Peete was gorgeous. Every white dude loved Hilary from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. And Kerry Washington. She’s superhot, and she’s also white-girl crazy. Kerry Washington would break your heart like a white girl. Just all of a sudden she’d be like, “Yeah, I sucked his di@k. Whatever.” And you’d be like, “What? We weren’t talking about that.” That’s what “Heartbreak Warfare” is all about, when a girl uses jealousy as a tactic.
You're massively uninformed on this one Walt. No Walt, YOU blew it.
Not certain how many tweets it might take for “The Mayer” to recover from his inexcusable and unwarranted comment(s). Quite honestly I could care less. “The Mayer” got too comfortable and his arrogance apparently reached its peak performance.
I could possibly respond with a degree of empathy to his stupid comment(s) based upon his initial reaction. However, his next statement was: “What it’s like to be Black in America?” by John Mayer. Where’s the remorse?
Let’s make a mental note of the following; if you aren’t black, never, ever tell me what “being black” is about, and do not pretend to have an attraction to black women. Oh and the crude comment about Kerry Washington….nice touch. "The Mayer" has a way with words. These cards are in the same deck as, “I have a best friend …who just so happens to be BLACK.
@Walt Bennett
The use of the N word is the clearest way to be derogative and insulting. Walt, please send me new software for my Race Detector as well.
My last comment is simple and clear. It's offensive in no uncertain term to use NIGGER in connection to any description of the Black community or whether one can move freely within it. There's no twisting of Mayer's words or sentiment. It's ridiculous and offensive, period. I don't care how many Black friends he has, how much Black music he likes or which two Black women he thinks are cute.
You don't get my support after you go on record with making "hood" and "NIGGER" interchangeable or discussing their level of "interchangeability" or which is the "better descriptor."
How and why NIGGER is offensive is best described by Black people. That's just the way it is. The same is true for Kike, Gook, Spic et al and their respective intended targets. It's not for me to say how any of those are or are not offensive or in what context. The word is offensive…period. Its context in this case, doubly offensive. His "White Supremacist co@k" statement was not funny on any level…period.
I'm abundantly clear on what, when and why NIGGER is offensive and why this specifically is offensive. Walt, you seem to be looking for a certain level of malice in Mayer's comments.
That's why it's called ignorance, malice is not a prerequisite. He probably thought he was being funny, witty, provocative and even insightful.
He was none of that…just ignorant.
His ignorance, regardless of the absence of malice was GROSSLY offensive.
This was a "HOW DARE YOU" (John Mayer) moment.
Morris, I read the entire interview. There is no way to say the things you've said, based on that interview. Mayer was admitting that he likes black women more with his mind than with his dick. That's racist?
As regards Mayer's use of 'the word', once again he was making your point for you. He was making the point that he does not have a hood pass because he is not free to use that word the way a black person would.
You know what the real problem is? Blacks use the word all the time. They use it a lot in a friendly context. Mayer was makign the point that he has no such rights.
EXACT SAME POINT you're making.
And look at the fuss you've caused due to your misunderstanding and ignorance of where Mayer was coming from.
Walt, I can't have this discussion with you…you've thrown out all rational thought. We're miles apart on this one. Certain things can't be rationalized, or explained away. I'm consistent. I'm neither interested in Nas trying to explain how he's "appropriated" the word nor split hairs on how rappers are using it to defuse its meaning.
I'm absolutely fair. The word is offensive. Not its supposed context…the word. That was my whole point, the etymology was the same. He was wielding a word he had not the respect for the person or its etymology to use.
I was VERY CLEAR in my piece that its use by RAPPER OR RACIST was unacceptable. Once again you jumped in way too soon.
And until you re-title the previous post, your intent to malign rather than teach is apparent and on full display.
Mayer seems to have made the mistake of trying to make honest observations while also trying to be a little irreverent.
This circles back to so many discussions in this space, where many of you are intent on LEAPING to the WORST POSSIBLE CONCLUSION about a person's character, based on what you THINK they mean and/or what you THINK they said.
Morris, many times this place elevates discussion. Occasionally, it has the opposite effect, usually when you go on a rant before you've worked it trough, such as this time.
And I have yet to see you own up to such a mistake, and instead you seem to draw inspiration from the fact that you have some followers who love to jump on this sort of bandwagon.
Nothing gets elevated, nothing gets analyzed, nothing gets understood better when you start off wrong and then get busy defending yourself.
It's a shame that we can't have one place on the planet where people can come together, no matter what the subject, and just try to see it for what it is.
This place comes closer than most.
Not close enough.
Walt, would you rather I change the title to "John Mayer Says it Should be a NIGGER Pass and Not a Hood Pass"…would that meet your approval? Because that's exactly what he did…and that is FAR more harsher than what I wrote.
This is the section of the interview that is relevant to this discussion, although for compelte perspective you should read all of what comes before:
PLAYBOY: If you didn’t know you, would you think you’re a douche bag?
MAYER: It depends on what I picked up. My two biggest hits are “Your Body Is a Wonderland” and “Daughters.” If you think those songs are pandering, then you’ll think I’m a douche bag. It’s like I come on very strong. I am a very…I’m just very. V-E-R-Y. And if you can’t handle very, then I’m a douche bag. But I think the world needs a little very. That’s why black people love me.
PLAYBOY: Because you’re very?
MAYER: Someone asked me the other day, “What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?” And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a nigger pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, “I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.’"
{Mayer said this: "I CAN'T REALLY HAVE A HOOD PASS." Sort of contradicts Morris' headline. Sort of indicates that Morris missed by a mile. Mayer explains that he can't use the "N" word in the hood, which if he could would mean he really has a hood pass. He was saying "To say I have a hood pass would be arrogant because I'll never be black." That was his very clear meaning. Especially by the last sentence of that response.}
PLAYBOY: It is true; a lot of rappers love you. You recorded with Common and Kanye West, played live with Jay-Z.
MAYER: What is being black? It’s making the most of your life, not taking a single moment for granted. Taking something that’s seen as a struggle and making it work for you, or you’ll die inside. Not to say that my struggle is like the collective struggle of black America. But maybe my struggle is similar to one black dude’s.
{Admittedly, a white person giving their opinion on what it means to be black takes courage. I ask myself all the time what it's really like to be black. Morris and others have gone to appreciated lengths to help me learn. It should not be considered disrespectful that a white person attempts to understand the black experience. Beyonf that, I found Mayer's answer thoughtful, recognizing that there is a struggle that he can't really identify with, but one that he recognizes and appreciates. In other words, the man is clearly respcectful of the black experience. Again: Clearly. Again: Morris is way, way off.}
PLAYBOY: Do black women throw themselves at you?
MAYER: I don’t think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.
{Mayer is honestly admitting that he doesn't go for black p***y, but that he'd like to break that down. His dick is telling him "Not interested" but his mind wants to go forward with the experience. This is a tricky topic, but then again this is Playboy magazine, where explorations of sexuality and attraction are to be expected. Nothing in that response can possibly be taken to mean disrespect. Seriously. Who among us wouldn't have some similar perspective?}
PLAYBOY: Let’s put some names out there. Let’s get specific.
MAYER: I always thought Holly Robinson Peete was gorgeous. Every white dude loved Hilary from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. And Kerry Washington. She’s superhot, and she’s also white-girl crazy. Kerry Washington would break your heart like a white girl. Just all of a sudden she’d be like, “Yeah, I sucked his dick. Whatever.” And you’d be like, “What? We weren’t talking about that.” That’s what “Heartbreak Warfare” is all about, when a girl uses jealousy as a tactic.
{Mayer gets a little flip here, generalizes a little bit. I'm not really sure what point he's trying to make, but if somebody can find a racist intent in there, please explain it to me.}
And there you have it. One reference to the "N" word, well contextualized and aware of the realities involved. His one mistake? He didn't say "N word", he used the word.
OK, maybe you'd rather he said "N word." OK.
Is that worth all this? In all seriousness?
Massive error, compounded and repeated, to blow this up in the first place, and unconscionable to try so hard to twist and distort, just for the purpose of generating hits.
Because if the intent was to be serious, Morris would change the title of the previous post and admit how badly he mangled what Mayer said, and Morris' own reaction to it.
Of course, then all of his followers would bump into each other trying to turn around.
“Morris, I read the entire interview. There is no way to say the things you’ve said, based on that interview. Mayer was admitting that he likes black women more with his mind than with his dick. That’s racist?”
Are you completely out of your mind? Is it racist? No. Is it demeaning and disrespectful to Black women? HELL YES! It’s good to know that none of Black Hollywood’s A list will be fodder for more of his interview debacles, but he was still WAY out of line.
I’m waiting for you to go on one of your excessively verbose rambles “educating” me, a Black woman, on how someone you don’t know from a damn can of paint “didn’t mean” to be disrespectful to me. I call BS on that one before you even get it off your keyboard. Mayer is ignorant, and I think that anyone who would defend his words and behavior isn’t too much better off.
Morris, regarding your last comment:
Bullshit.
Your clear intent was to brand Mayer by twisting his words, not to chastise him for poor word choice.
You've been consistent: You consistently misinterpret what he said and his very clear intent.
If you would rather not be guilty of that, just read my liner notes above and see if that helps you understand.
Maybe white folks just talk in a way that confuses you sometimes.
Maybe you hear the word and YOU lose "all rational thought."
The evidence would seem to suggest as much.
Moi,
Mayer was giving a Playboy interview. Perhaps you know, I assume you do, that sexuality and attraction are constant topics, especially in the interviews.
Please tell me, specifically, how Mayer was demeaning and disrespectful to black women.
I'd be happy, in all seriousness, to be educated in that regard.
"Please tell me, specifically, how Mayer was demeaning and disrespectful to black women."
“Do black women throw themselves at you?
MAYER: I don’t think I open myself to it. My di@k is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fu@kin’ David Duke co@k. I’m going to start dating separately from my di@k.”
For you not to see the disrespect in that comment is proof positive why we're miles apart. Once again Walt, you're telling women what is or is not offensive to them and telling Black people how they shouldn't be offended at what Mayer said.
See the pattern?
"And Kerry Washington. She’s superhot, and she’s also white-girl crazy. Kerry Washington would break your heart like a white girl. Just all of a sudden she’d be like, “Yeah, I sucked his dick. Whatever.” And you’d be like, “What? We weren’t talking about that.”
*insert WTF face that I originally made when I read this f*ckery HERE*
Let me see if I can help you out. Replace "Kerry Washington" with whatever your mother's name is (Black folks, I really wanted to say your MAMMY, so you know I'm heated right now lmao) and tell me if you don't feel some type of way about it. Wait, on second thought, you've gotten more of my energy and conversation than you ever should have. Just think quietly to yourself about it. Johnny Boy should try that as well.
Moi,
Mayer was saying, "That's how a white chick would be", so how is it demeaning to say that this particular black chick would behave the same way?
How does it become a black/white issue?
Morris,
See my question for Moi. Where is any sort of racism in a remark comparing a particular black woman to his general impression of white women?
And when do you realize how hard you've tried to paint Mayer as something he's not?
That a few people have jumped on the bandwagon somehow reassures you?
YOU BLEW IT!
What's your next move, just keep doubling down until you become a joke to anybody who cares about getting things right?
Morris,
See my question for Moi. Where is any sort of racism in a remark comparing a particular black woman to his general impression of white women?
(When you need to bring David Duke and White supremacy into a comment sexually objectifying Black women specifically…I would say YES! Do you not know the history of white supremacy and the treatment of Black women. Remember I positioned this piece within the context of Black History Month…did you not notice that intentional act? I specifically spoke on the HISTORY of these things. I specifically spoke on how all these things tie together, all the way to the Oval Office. I put it there, but you clearly missed it Walt.)
And when do you realize how hard you’ve tried to paint Mayer as something he’s not?
(When he show me how he wasn't both ignorant and arrogant to think it was acceptable to use such terminology and "go there." Until then…I've painted him exactly as he is.)
Moi,
Do you know how offensive it is for a grown man to be referred to as "boy"?
It's very, very offensive.
Actually, the use of "boy" was specifically offensive to African-American men. White men weren't referred to as "boy"…let's be very clear and honest about the historical use of the term.
Mayer's words:
“I CAN’T REALLY HAVE A HOOD PASS."
Change the headline, Morris.
No, THESE were his words
And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a n***** pass.”
I'll change the headline to…"You could call it a Nigger Pass"
THOSE were his words.
Morris,
The man said:
I CAN’T REALLY HAVE A HOOD PASS."
You can read, can't you?
Careful Walt. Careful.
I read the part where he said Nigger Pass…clearly you wish to overlook that or how that's offensive.
Morris,
You've painted Mayer in your own image of what passes for an ignorant white person, and that's all you've accomplished.
This is a sad day.
He was irreverent in places, sure, but the totality of his responses – and he has the right to expect his words to be taken in context – make it clear that singling out a word or a phrase is a grave injustice.
And Morris, you exist within the world of journalism and so you are supposed to care about things like context and intent.
You are supposed to care about those things, Morris.
"You’ve painted Mayer in your own image of what passes for an ignorant white person, and that’s all you’ve accomplished.
This is a sad day."
________
No, he did that all by himself. The fact that he happened to be White is neither here nor there. Like I said and did say in the piece (since you want to question whether I can read). It's the remark, not the person who uttered it.
Would you like me to re-post it here for you? I thought you would.
"It’s about the remark, not the talent of the person from whom it was uttered. My offense is equal and does not discriminate. Be it John Mayer or the Black mayor of Washington D.C., it’s all the same.
The word causes a cringe irrespective of it emanating from rapper or racist. Rick Ross or Dog the Bounty Hunter…the etymology does not change."
See how clear I made that Walt? You just refuse to acknowledge that in your arguments. It wasn't about his color, it was about his remark.
Walt,
Unlike your man-crush, I knew EXACTLY the effect of my choice of words. He acts like a boy, he's a boy. A boy who seems to need medication to help him with his lack of impulse control, and one who seems to be begging for attention. It is what it is.
*sigh* Look. You’re so busy trying to make your weak little point that you are trying to put words in my mouth that I did not use. I PLAINLY said that while I didn’t consider the remark racist, I did find it offensive! It's not Black/White, it's right/wrong, appropriate/ TOTALLY inappropriate, thinking before you open your mouth/acting like a complete a$$hole everytime you are interviewed. If you insist on using Mo’s blog to get your rocks off (what’s wrong, no readers on your own?) and you try to use my statements and opinions against me, get them straight. It was disrespectful (try to pay attention cause you might get lost here) TO WOMEN PERIOD! “White girl crazy?” what the hell? It seems like the white girls who dated him were only crazy to associate themselves with someone so classless. To then project that attribute onto someone whose character he DOES NOT KNOW, who just happens to be a member of a racial group whose women he and his Johnson don’t find attractive… if you can’t see the problem there, there is something seriously wrong with you.
Morris,
Moi has no more right to call Mayer "boy" than he has to call Kerry Washington "white girl crazy."
Let's all see the point for what it is.
And with regard to "careful", I may at some point say something that I regret or that can be taken the wrong way. If so I will stand up and say so and let others have their say as well.
I'm sure you know that about me.
Moi, I asked you what was so offensive about Mayer's remarks as regards BLACK WOMEN.
You said: "Is it racist? No. Is it demeaning and disrespectful to Black women? HELL YES!"
I asked you to explain how race entered into it.
Thanks for explaining that it does not, and I will assume you did not mean to limit your remark to black women but to all women.
Moi, all I can say with regard to Mayer's comments about sexuality and attraction are that he was giving a Playboy interview where he said many other provocative things.
I still do not understand what's so offensive about being honest about your attractions.
"I still do not understand what’s so offensive about being honest about your attractions."
Walt, you are WAY too smart to float that out there. I hate to get vulgar but I have to do so to make my point. If I were to say I like Latin women with big titties and round asses. So if I were completely honest, that somehow makes it less offensive or more acceptable?
Of COURSE it doesn't.
Making Di@k and Co@k and David Duke references in the expression of his racial preferences in regards to women are offensive to women by and large, believe it or not. Stop feigning ignorance. Honesty is not a mitigating factor in being offensive.
David Duke HONESTLY doesn't like Black people.
Al Campanis was HONEST about believing Black people weren't good swimmers due to "lack of buoyancy." Keep on digging the hole Walt.
Morris,
What you may have made clear in followup comments cannot hope to undo the damage your headlines and the content of the posts themselves have caused.
You have succeeded in making sure this story gets as twisted as possible, in order to punish Mayer for crimes he did not commit.
It is indeed a very sad day. Your stock is down a lot after this little incident.
I hope, honestly, that you take the time to reflect on your patent unfairness to Mayer. I'd like to see this place restored to some semblence of being worthy of respect.
"I’d like to see this place restored to some semblence of being worthy of respect."
I'm sorry that you feel that way. If this place isn't worthy of your stamp of approval, then I will respect your decision not to further participate here at this place.
And by the way Morris, I don't disagree with you that the word has power whenever it is used, however it is used and by whomever it is used.
Which is why it is important to be very careful how it is used.
Notice that I used it in a comment and you did not jump all over me.
Why? Because you know me, understood my intent and found nothing to be upset about.
If you had slowed yourself down on this one and really tried to understand what Mayer was saying, you would have, I strongly believe, reached the same conclusion about his use of the word.
Which is why it is important to be very careful how it is used.
Notice that I used it in a comment and you did not jump all over me.
Why? Because you know me, understood my intent and found nothing to be upset about.
To your point Walt, the rest of the Playboy interview made it clear that Mayer was quite ignorant. Ignorant is by definition not knowing better. He was ignorant and didn't deserve a pass.
Malicious? Maybe, maybe not. Ignorant? Absolutely.
Morris,
You have zero chance of turning this on me.
Zero.
It is patently clear that you jumped the gun and now all you seem capable of is playing offense.
Yes I damn well say that being honest about your attractions is very important context for understanding what was said and what was meant.
Let me assure you of one thing: I am well aware the power that phrases such as "white supremacist" and "David Duke" have. I know you know that I know that.
We can assume for the moment that Mayer is not as on point with that. Let's examine what he meant, it's not that hard to figure out:
He was saying that he finds black women interesting but that his dick does not. His dick is the "white supremacist", his dick is "David Duke." And he wants to start over-ruling his dick, perhaps teaching it how to appreciate black women as much as his mind does.
What a shame that you are so intent on hanging him for specific word choices, regardless of how they were used.
If that's your standard, Morris, I suspect that few people can live their entire lives without failing it.
Morris,
Please, because I did read it, where did I miss how Mayer is ignorant, and how that justifies your decision to twist his words?
The salient point you miss Walt is that to say "Black people love me" is to say you have a Hood Pass. That's what a Hood Pass is. See Walt, he didn't even UNDERSTAND the definition of a hood pass and he was throwing it around. A White Person who "Black people love" is to say you have a Hood Pass…THAT is what it means. THAT is why Playboy came RIGHT back with the Hood Pass question. Playboy understood it, but Mayer clearly did not.
Which takes me back to the whole "ignorance" of the remarks.
From there he decided to pontificate on whether "hood" or "Nigger" was the right way to characterize it. Not even "Nigga" but the original "Nigger."
Not that I like to make a distinction, but you will not find any "Hood Pass" which includes a "Nigger" coupon.
Let me say it again. A Hood Pass for a White person is the same thing as saying "Black people love me." THAT is what it means. A Hood Pass for a BLACK person means that you can move within any neighborhood without issue…from ghetto on up.
If Mayer were Black he would've known that. It's like traveling to a foreign country, know the rules before you get your hand chopped off. Let's just agree that we Black people know our "Negro dialect" a bit better than those who aren't.
If he would've simply said "No, I don't have a Hood Pass" it's all well and good. I didn't put "Nigger" in his mouth. He did. You call it mincing words. When John Mayer complains and wants to debate me on it…then we'll see about changing it.
Morris,
When you drive off a cliff like this and make no attempt to repair the damage, you lessen yourself and your site.
That's all I'm saying.
I get your point, but when it comes after "can you read" your explanation after the fact (like John Mayer) seems a bit reactionary.
Morris,
It should not be necessary for me to explain how high my regard is for you.
When I say something like "semblence of respect" I don't say it lightly, and I don't say it to get under your skin, nor to insult you, nor to antagonize you.
No, I say it to provoke you.
I want you to react to my reaction. I want you to take seriously how offended I am that you would so badly mangle what the man said, and then not take a single step to correct that mistake.
I want you to be a better man than that.
The day you catch me being dishonest and refusing to face my dishonesty, please as my friend, rip me a new asshole and don't mince words about it.
Morris,
Sure we can agree. I'd love to find something in all of this to agree about.
One thing we need to agree on: Mayer said he does not have a hood pass. You got that wrong at first. I hope you clean that up.
Second, I bet he does understand the point you just made, because the interviewer was trying to make the same point, and Mayer's response was: "I don't see it that way. I think it would be disrespectful to assume I am accepted as a black person would be, because I have not had that experience."
Let me ask you this: What did you think of his comments on "the black experience" shortly after that remark?
I found them to be thoughtful and sensitive. I get the strong impression that Mayer likes and respects black people.
You seem to have gone the other way on that, because of certain words and phrases he chose.
I can't even really call it ignorance on his part, more likely the difference between hearing somebody say something and reading it. You can't see the inflection, you can't see the tone of voice, you can't see the attitude.
I imagine hearing him say those words, and I get the impression he thought there was some humor there.
Yes, I get that you see no such humor. What I don't do is assign motives or characteristics to the man based on those words and phrases?
Why? Two reasons:
(1) The context of the remarks themselves makes it clear he meant no offense;
(2) Other remarks he made throughout the interview contradict the impression that he was being racist, thoughtless or insensitive.
It's time to stop pulling a few words out of an interview and deciding that we know a person.
Don't you think?
Morris,
I think it's fair to give Mayer crap for the "white supremacist" stuff more-so than for the "N-word" stuff.
Why? Because in that remark he's making light of some very serious stuff. Racism is one thing, white supremacy quite another. A racist is somebody who will avoid a black person; a white supremacist is somebody who will kill a black person just for being black.
There are a lot more racists than white supremacists. Duke was and presumably still is a white supremacist.
For Mayer to be so flip about something that is so dangerous, so inflammatory, so reviled, so painful, is something that I find offensive.
If I was to speak to Mayer, I would say "Don't make light of white supremacism. It's real and it's a threat. It's not to be used as fodder for describing your dick. Or are you saying that your dick wants to kill black people?"
So I will agree with you there that his attempt at humor was poorly expressed.
I will also say that in my younger years I made similar errors, from which we learn.
I remain convinced, based on the totality of the interview, that Mayer likes and respects black people.
I don't know if that will ever matter in this particular discussion.
The whole interview shows that Mayer is just an overgrown child, shooting off his prideful mouth in attempt to be cool.Pride comes just before a fall.John should just shut up and play his music.He's an embarrassment to those of us not directly within the black community who love and *show* respect to all humans regardless of race or gender.People who DO NOT ever utter such offensive nonsense such as the n-bomb.His and those that carelessly utter such gibberish to make themselves seems cool, only feed the "divide" between us as the human race. If Mayer is looking for cool factor–look to those like Pitt, Jolie, who's *actions* clearly show they see no colors. You don't need a "pass" to show respect for all human beings–just do it and you'll be welcome anywhere naturally.His publicist needs to put a gag on him in between performancesm. Forget the interviews, he's just too moronic to understand when you're a big time name that you make an impression on young people.
To the person who said Mo' Kelly is confused by the way white people talk–I don't think so.Never had one problem with this, Mo'"gets" people.
I also agree with Mo' Kelly that the churches in Los Angeles on any given Sunday put Idol and most all signed artists to shame. But no matter because they aren't performing to be cool or collect cash.
It's not the talent that is important–It's what you do with the talent and do it with humility and integrity.Something that is lost on Mayer.
As for his comments about black women–the comments were offensive to ALL women.
Ladies I think WE all need to revoke his pass.He's clearly a P*I*G.
Lastly, Mo'you hit the nail on the head when you noted it seemed to him that "hood" and "n-" being interchangable to him.That very statement is what continues to perpetuate the stereotypes, distrust, and divide.The devil is in the details, and it's what he didn't say but *implied* that is more deplorable!
On so many levels he needs his pass revoked! CD is in the trash…
Cass,
You seem to have also grossly misunderstood Mayer's use of the N-word. He was not equating "Hood" with "N-word", he was simply observing that he can never actually have a hood pass because that word is still off limits to him.
Why he used the word to make that point? As you noted, he was shooting his mouth off.
But lets at least see the offense as it was.
In that part of the interview as well as others, Mayer was trying to show respect. He messed it all up, but his intent is clear enough.
I was the one who said that Morris may be confused about what Mayer meant, and until Morris changes the title of the original post, he presents my evidence for me.
Cass, he is TRULY a pig! Couldn't have put it better!
Morris,
What a shame that, here in Black History Month, you take a man who is clearly sensitive to the fact that he can never be black nor accepted by people in “the hood” the way a black person would,
And stand it completely on its head.
Mayer’s mistake was to apologize. He just should have said “Read the entire interview, and check with me if you still don’t get it.”
This is just another one of your diatribes because somebody said something IN A WAY you disapprove of.
Never mind their intent. Never mind if you stole a phrase which altered the entire meaning.
All’s fair when somebody crosses Morris’ Race Detector.
Morris, your Race Detector is way off on this one.
You took a wrong turn and ended up in Saskatchewan.
I hope you have the guts, after two posts which missed the mark so entirely, to take a step back, say “Whoa, Mo” and re-assess.
Sometimes white folk can use that word, Morris. Sometimes it’s the clearest way to make a point.
Why are you so ready to pounce on a good person?
Amazing.
Mo, I for one think you are spot on. WHY is it continually suggested that we allow people to make these sort of racist comments? For what reason would I give Mayer or anyone else a pass ‘because clearly he didn’t mean it as it sounded which is why he apologized’. Give me a break. The reality of this is that maybe, just maybe, these celebrities should understand that there is a line that they shouldn’t cross, they they should steer clear of said line! I am so with you on this commentary.
Mr. Bennett, I don’t think that Mo said white folks CAN’T use the word. It is indeed a free country, and if you feel the need to use a word that could potentially get you punched in the mouth, by all means, have at it.
The issue here is with the arrogance & IGNORANCE Mayer used in spouting off the word like that (and unless you know him personally, don’t give me that BS about what he “meant”). Ignorance and arrogance is a horrible combination, and judging by the staggering number of verbal missteps Mayer has made recently, he has an abundance of both. I find it amazing that you can be so quick to jump to his defense, when what he said was CLEARLY offensive. Sometimes when you have no standing to speak on something, it’s best to “stay in your lane.” If that’s too “hood” for you to comprehend, go ask your idol Mayer to translate into Anglo for you. I’m sure he won’t have a problem, since his “pass” won’t expire until midnight tonight. *lol*
Mo I am with you also and anyone that thinks you are blowing this out of context is crazy. And to think you did not even address the part where he totally insulted black women. His statement about his d&@! Being a white supremicst just showed me that the rest of him surely followed closely behind.
Leslie…I didn’t even include the Black women parts because I didn’t want the essential message to get lost. Yes, he clearly has a total disrespect of Black people.
You know, all men are pigs.
Some are just more honest about it.
Great post Mo! Moi and Cass, I totally agree! Walt, if you find so much to argue with Mo' about, I am sure there are other sites that write commentary more suitable to your tastes.
Arrivaderci!!
EDoes "Arrivaderci" mean you're leaving, Anna?
Because until Mo himself kicks my fat white ass outta here, I think I'll keep occupying the "thoughtful white man" chair, thank you.
[…] RELATED: Dear John Mayer – Imitation Doesn’t Equal Respect […]