Posts Tagged ‘mediation’

It is not uncommon in the Black church tradition these days to take an originally secular song and then reshape it with a sacred message. Songs written wholly unrelated to the Word of God are sometimes given a “church remix” if you will. Miki Howard, Musiq Soulchild…even Snoop Dogg; it doesn’t matter the artist.

Today Mo’Kelly is going to do his own church remix, just for the remaining members of New Birth Ministries. Mo’Kelly won’t bother with all the verses and even much of the chorus, just one simple phrase, once sung by Whitney Houston.

“How will I know?” Keep Whitney’s melody in mind as Mo’Kelly speaks on behalf of those of New Birth who will be in service this Sunday and each one after as Eddie Long preaches from the pulpit.

Hit the music…

Here are some questions every remaining New Birth member could, should and must ask their “pastor” and not settle for “pray on it.”  The Lord made you the members the head and not the tail (Deut 28:13).  Eddie Long may not be able to discuss the specifics of the settlement, but he surely can be forced to discuss members’ general uncertainty going forward.

Bishop Long, how will I know?

Bishop Long…how will I know given this settlement you are not one of the “workers of iniquity” as mentioned in Psalms 6:8, Matthew 7:23 or Luke 13:27?

How will I know?

How will I know that my faith in God isn’t telling me the truth about you, given this “secret” agreement? Since faith is the substance of things hope for and the evidence of things not seen (Hebrews 11:1), this secret settlement could be the very “evidence” of what you truly are.

How will I know?

How will I know ignoring my spiritual discernment makes good sense by remaining in your congregation? (Colossians 1:9)

How will I know if you remember Titus 1:7 does apply to you Bishop? “For a bishop must be blameless, as the steward of God; not self-willed, not soon angry, not given to wine, no striker, not given to filthy lucre”

How will I know that as a steward of God’s church that we shouldn’t throw you out as Jesus once did the moneychangers?

How will I know?

How will I know there aren’t other boys/men who may come forward in the future with similar allegations? How will I know you won’t also settle secretly with them? How will I know if  we will ever get the truth as to whether you are a sexual predator?

More expressly, how will I know that my own son doesn’t secretly have a similar story about you?

How will I know?

How will I know when to stop mentally sub-titling all of your sermons as “Do as God Says…Not as I Do and Have Done?”

How will I know?

How will I know when to heed any of your marital advice, given I don’t have 15 million dollars available (allegedly) to deal with issues of infidelity?

How will I know?

How will I know what to say to other believers who will tell me that Bishop Eddie Long is one of the “grievous wolves” who has entered the church and not spared the flock (Acts 20:29)?

How will I know?

How will I know whether this settlement means you broke more than 5 or fewer than five of the Ten Commandments?  What is your over/under?

Before you seek to offer “wise counsel” to my family, how will I know if your own family at least learned the truth of these matters, for their sake?

How will I know?

Most importantly, how will I know my spiritual livelihood is safe in the hands of Bishop Eddie Long, when his own is in tremendous jeopardy?

How will I know Bishop…how will I know? Because right now, the Lord seems to have already answered all of those questions the moment the settlement was finalized.

(Readers: What other “Whitney Houston” questions would you have for your “pastor” if you were still a member of New Birth?)

The Mo’Kelly Report is an entertainment journal with a political slant; published at The Huffington Post and EURWEB.com. For more Mo’Kelly, http://mrmokelly.com. Mr. Mo’Kelly can be reached at mrmokelly@gmail.com.

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UPDATE: The Mo’Kelly Report spies were right…IT’S GOING TO TRIAL!

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ATLANTA — It appears the parties in the Bishop Eddie Long sexual misconduct lawsuit are no longer close to settling the case.  The judge in the case now says he is preparing for a trial in the fall.

Channel 2′s Tom Jones talked to an expert mediator who said this is not unusual.”Sometimes when you think you got something resolved, something will come up,” Mediator Elmer Gobel said.

It was Easter week when the judge in the case said the parties engaged in a marathon mediation session and came out of it close to a settlement.Judge Johnny Panos said back then:

“They’ve resolved a lot of major issues and there’s a few fine details that need to be worked out.”Now Panos said he is preparing for a trial in August or September. He wouldn’t say why he no longer believes the two sides are close to a settlement.

Full story and video HERE.

The Mo’Kelly Report obtained this exclusive interview with Mr. Jheri

Jheri Lacefront (Eddie Long pictured just below)

Lacefront, the jheri curl wig of the embattled Bishop Eddie Long.  Although Mr. Lacefront could not discuss the case, the mediation talks or any proposed settlement, he was able to give us some insight to what it means to “cover” for one of the high-profile prosperity gospel preachers.

You will not find this conversation anywhere else, another Mo’Kelly exclusive!  Here is the transcript of our conversation.

_____________

Mo’Kelly: So tell me, where are you from…how did you eventually make your way to Atlanta and to the top of Bishop Eddie Long’s forehead?

JL: Actually, I’m like you Mo’Kelly, born and raised in Los Angeles. Growing up I wanted to be in show business, so since I already lived in L.A. why not give it a shot?  In fact, one night I was watching Coming to America …saw how many other curls were able to get work so I thought I’d try my hand at it too.

My first gig was playing Chris Rock’s jheri curl in the movie CB4 in ’93.

Mo’Kelly: That was you?!

JL: Yes sir, that was me. I was obviously younger and the style was longer so I was longer then.

Mo’Kelly: And from there, you did what?

JL: Well on the set I became good friends with Stoney Jackson, who you know was also in the movie. Little did anyone know, Stoney was going bald and he

Stoney Jackson

needed someone to help make it look like his curl was still full. So for the next seven years or so, I was Stoney’s jheri hair piece.

Mo’Kelly: Get outta here!

JL: Serious. Stoney was rockin’ the long jheri curl as late as 2000. He’s still in the business, doing odds and ends for a boutique production company. He wears a short piece these days but still is greasy.

Stoney 2011

Mo’Kelly: OK, so you leave the employ of Stoney Jackson and then what?

JL: To be honest, I fell on hard times. Ran out of money and then moved in with my sister who moved to Atlanta during the great Black migration of the 90s. I found work where I could, but mostly for this old Brotha who spent all of his time and money at the strip club Magic City.

Mo’Kelly: Don’t tell me that’s where you met Bishop Long…

Kandi Burruss

JL: No, but moving to Atlanta was the key. Long story short, this guy I was working for smoked blunts all the time. I smelled horrible. I was miserable. My sister, who at the time was working as a hairweave for Kandi Burruss on Real Housewives of Atlanta, she (my sister) got word that a local preacher was looking for a “more youthful and virile” appearance…and gave me the address to New Birth’s administrative offices.

Mo’Kelly: “A local preacher?”  “Youthful and virile?”

JL: Yeah, that’s what she said. You gotta understand, I was at the strip club literally 5 nights a week and my sister was working in Reality TV. We hadn’t seen the inside of a church in years, much less know who Bishop Long was. Long story short, I went from getting in the house from work at 4am Sunday morning to getting up at 4am on Sundays to go to work.

Mo’Kelly: What year was this?

JL: 2008. I thought work for an old jheri curl lacefront toupee like me was a pipe dream. But along came Bishop Long and gave me a job. He saw himself in a youtube video and said he had to make a change.  I mean really, the man has no hair!  Since then, together, we’ve brought the curl back!

Mo’Kelly: Uh…no you haven’t. But seriously, after a settlement is reached, do you worry whether he’ll even be able to afford your services anymore? We all know about the recent staff and salary cuts.

JL: As you know I can’t comment specifically, but I can say I’ve suffered through hard times before, losing a job won’t ever again scare me. Besides, I’m in the Entertainment Hairpiece and Weave Union and there’s always some bald celebrity out there trying to maintain their youthful appearance. John Travolta, Jeremy Piven, Ted Danson, Naomi Campbell…I’ll be alright.

Mo’Kelly: What’s it like working for the Bishop?

JL: He’s great. He never wears me when he works out and when he’s in casual mode he’s always wearing hats…Kangols usually. So I’m usually only on the clock when he’s preaching or doing some public event. The money’s good and I don’t smell like the chronic and/or strawberry baby oil anymore.

Mo’Kelly: C’mon, I know there’s a funny story you can tell about the Bishop…

JL: Well there was this one time at the LongFellows Youth Academy where he…uh…never mind. Next question…

Mo’Kelly: Understood. Did you ever almost slip off of his head during a sermon?

JL: Absolutely. He sweats a lot. One time he caught the Holy Ghost and started spinning around and my glue came undone. Bishop realized it and asked someone to put holy hands on him and pray with him…but he really just wanted someone to push me back into place. That was a close one.

Mo’Kelly: Ha! I get the sense you’ve “seen a lot” in the past three years.

JL: I have.  I know what you’re getting at.  I can’t discuss the case but one day I will write that book.

Mo’Kelly: Before I let you go…can you give readers today a sense of the Bishop’s overall mood as of late?

JL: He’s been pretty reserved these days. You can tell this has taken a toll on him. There was a lot going on having nothing to do with the present issues. You see it in his face, his countenance. This is hard on him.

Mo’Kelly: Harder than telling the truth?  Doubt it. Thanks for making time for The Mo’Kelly Report Jheri Lacefront. All the best to you in the future.

FULL STORY HERE.

Court records showed the mediation was set for the second week of February.

According to sources familiar with the case, they were all there. FOX 5 I-Team sources say the court-ordered mediation began a week ahead of schedule in a top secret, undisclosed location. And during mediation, sources say all four young men angrily confronted Bishop Long.

According to FOX 5 I-Team sources, the back-to-back days of mediation were nearly three weeks ago. Senior I-Team reporter Dale Russell was told all four young men and their attorney along with the bishop, church and insurance lawyers sat down together in the same room.

A source familiar with the discussions described the atmosphere as “heated” with a lot of “emotion and anger.” The source told Russell the young men “cursed the Bishop” as they described in “graphic detail” what they allege he did to them, and the “Bishop never responded.”

No word on whether the jheri curl lacefront toupee (a.k.a. Jheri Lacefront) offered a sworn deposition on behalf of the embattled bishop. I mean, in theory…the wig was conceivably a “witness” to all of this. Its testimony could be quite damning.

Mo’Kelly can though confirm that the jheri curl lacefront toupee is presently not pleased about its recent salary cut and has threatened to quit and leave Long altogether.

Jheri Lacefront is not pleased…not even a little bit.  Mo’Kelly is presently working on getting an exclusive interview with Mr. Lacefront.

It seems the (ahem) “economy” has gotten to even the prosperity preacher  and alleged sexual coercer, Eddie Long.  The video says it all.  The fact that this story breaks in the midst of the mediation for the aforementioned sexual coercion charges is not in any way ironic.  It’s likely making way for the tremendous settlement coming down the pike.

No word on whether the cutbacks would affect the jheri curl lacefront toupee.  For now, it still has a job.

http://newsone.com/nation/newsonestaff4/bishop-eddie-long%E2%80%99s-sex-case-in-mediation

You can read about it in The Mo’Kelly Report

…or somewhere else after the fact.  Thank you to the loyal readers and followers of The Mo’Kelly Report.  Your efforts to spread the word have not gone unnoticed and are appreciated.

http://www.bvblackspin.com/2010/12/08/why-is-bishop-eddie-long-attempting-to-avoid-a-public-trial/

Eventually…folks are going to stop sleepin’ on The Mo’Kelly Report.  Shout out to Dr. Watkins for highlighting Mo’Kelly’s piece and forwarding the conversation.

(Of course, NO thanks due to Mr. Mo’Kelly)

Once again, you FIRST read about it in The Mo’Kelly Report.

How far in front of this was Mr. Mo’Kelly?!?!?!?! Mr. Mo’Kelly, RIGHT AGAIN!

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/bestoftv/2010/12/08/exp.mxp.long.mediation.hln