Posts Tagged ‘Keyshia Cole’

You know Mo’Kelly loves him some Anita Baker…

But…folks were deluging the email inbox saying she “destroyed” the National Anthem before game 4 of the NBA Finals.

Now, The Mo’Kelly Report has a well-documented history on artist who wreck the National Anthem.  After a couple of listenings…

Well…

It’s not “bad”…it’s not “horrible.”  But it’s not her finest moment either.  You tell  Mo’Kelly what you think.

RELATED:

Keyshia Cole KO’s National Anthem

Ray J Kills National Anthem…(i.e. MURDERS)

And then there was this…

BUT THE KING KONG OF THEM ALL WILL ALWAYS BE CARL LEWIS!!!

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Only…ONLY because Mo’Kelly is sympathetic to Rihanna and her plight of late, will he not just let loose on her for this get-up.  And Mo’Kelly doesn’t want to hear about it being “Dolce and Gabbana.”  No label on it can redeem it.  Besides, it looks like something closer to “Satin Garbage” than “Dolce and Gabbana.”

Oh, to be young and dumb again…

WTF?!

Somebody should have intervened.  Somebody should have stepped in and thrown the towel before somebody got killed.  Looks like Rihanna took my drapes and got to stitchin’ on the sewing machine and created her own “Gordon Gartrelle.”  This is reminiscent of Keyshia Cole and her ill-fated national anthem fight night debacle.

Good thing Rihanna didn’t try to sing too…

RELATED: Keyshia Cole KO’s Common Sense…Decency in Mourning

The Mo’Kelly Report is an entertainment journal with a political slant; published weekly at www.eurweb.com. It is meant to inform, infuse and incite meaningful discourse…as well as entertain. The Mo’Kelly Report is syndicated by Blogburst. For more Mo’Kelly, http://www.MrMoKelly.com.  Mo’Kelly can be reached at Mo@MrMoKelly.com and he welcomes all commentary.

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Subscribe to The Mo’Kelly Report HERE

Saturday evening I was settling in with friends, watching the preliminary bouts leading up to what would become the destruction of Oscar De La Hoya by Manny Pacquiao.

Not to digress too far, but for those unfamiliar with the typical PPV boxing event, it’s rare that any real boxing “stars” appear on the undercard. Usually it’s an amalgam of “might be” stars and their journeymen opponents; in the hopes of a quick knock out to generate excitement for future matches down the road.

In other words, the undercards for PPV matches are usually BOO BOO, more times than not.

Saturday night was the exception.

(Well…kinda sorta.)

The undercard bout Mo’Kelly is referring to took place in the ring alright, right before the main event. But it wasn’t exactly officially listed on the undercard.

My boy Frankie leaned over to me and asked who was “that” in the ring. I looked, squinted, cocked my head to the side and I guessed out loud. There was this “person” milling about the ring and leaning on a turnbuckle. From a distance she seemed feminine. Even in high def, Mo’Kelly didn’t want to say he was definitively sure.

I said, “I don’t know, “maybe” a ring girl…publicist…groupie or some sordid combination of all three.”

Mo’Kelly just didn’t recognize her.

Out stepped ring announcer Michael Buffer. First the Philippine national anthem, then the Mexican national anthem (although there were no “Mexicans” fighting) and then came the main event.

No, not De La Hoya V. Pacquiao…

Mo’Kelly’s talking the Star-spangled Banner…courtesy of Keyshia Cole. Imagine a 12-round duel to the death between Cole and common sense. Common sense lost and in lieu of flowers, Common Sense’s mama asks that you send Cole a new manager and publicist. Yes, on this occasion, common sense lost its fight miserably and the world has been a little bit funnier ever since.

Imagine it’s Halloween and some girl came to school after not being able to make up her mind between Pam Grier’s Coffy, Tina Turner’s Beyond Thunderdome and a Dr. Evil Black fembot. Instead, Cole chose to mix all three together.

Mo’Kelly’s not sure if the wig was on backwards after sleeping in it the night before with too much hairspray…but whatever it was, it was all wrong. Common sense went down in the first round with an overhand right.

And that was just the hair.

Then…there was the “outfit.”

Think “Sheena, Queen of the Jungle” meets “Keyshia The Beige Pool Table.” Mo’Kelly wasn’t sure if it was Eartha Kitt (Lady Eloise) from the movie Boomerang or “Lady Cinnamon” from The First Kings strip club here in Los Angeles.

“Marrrrrrrrcus darling…”

Mo’Kelly didn’t know whether to call PETA or call “8-ball, corner pocket.”

It was just all so confusing. “Common sense” was getting its a$$ kicked in the corner and the ref refused to step in and stop this debacle. Mo’Kelly remembers shouting at the TV before she even sang one note…

“STOP THE FIGHT!…THROW THE TOWEL!”

People at the fight party were looking at Mo’Kelly like he was crazy. But I knew…somebody was about to die and somebody needed to put a stop to it. And when exactly did a bullet bra bustier/mini skirt seem like a good idea? EVER?! At what point did she initially put that frock on and her handlers say…”Girl, you look good!”

Get the frock out of here!

Mo’Kelly brings this up because he used to work for Cole’s label, Interscope Records and knows quite a few of her “handlers.” Marselle Washington, Adam Favors, Garrett Williams…I blame y’all. All y’all. You’re my boys…but I put this on you.

I blame Y’ALL!

It doesn’t matter what Cole’s manager Manny Halley has to say…you should’ve stepped in and stopped the fight before “common sense” got its ass killed. Its blood is on your hands. She should have never been allowed to step into the ring and common sense paid the ultimate price.

Left hook to the jaw. Down goes common sense! Down goes common sense!

But…”common sense” got back up…wanting to fight some more. And then came…the song.

The SONG!

Just a suggestion…”common sense” dictates that if you have pitch problems, maybe you should concentrate more on getting the pitch right and less on the ubiquitous and unnecessary “runs.” Then again, “common sense” was not going to win ANY fight Saturday night. Common sense never had a chance. Thoughts and prayers to Mama Sense and her other child, Decency. Marselle, Adam, Garrett…I blame y’all.

The Mo’Kelly Report is an entertainment journal with a political slant; published weekly at www.eurweb.com. It is meant to inform, infuse and incite meaningful discourse…as well as entertain. The Mo’Kelly Report is syndicated by Newstex and Blogburst. For more Mo’Kelly, http://www.MrMoKelly.com.

Subscribe in a reader or by email

Morris W. O’Kelly can be reached at Mo@MrMoKelly.com and he welcomes all commentary.

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Saturday evening I was settling in with friends, watching the preliminary bouts leading up to what would become the destruction of Oscar De La Hoya by Manny Pacquiao.

Not to digress too far, but for those unfamiliar with the typical PPV boxing event, it’s rare that any real boxing “stars” appear on the undercard. Usually it’s an amalgam of “might be” stars and their journeymen opponents; in the hopes of a quick knock out to generate excitement for future matches down the road.

In other words, the undercards for PPV matches are usually BOO BOO, more times than not.

Saturday night was the exception.

(Well…kinda sorta.)

The undercard bout Mo’Kelly is referring to took place in the ring alright, right before the main event. But it wasn’t exactly officially listed on the undercard.

My boy Frankie leaned over to me and asked who was “that” in the ring. I looked, squinted, cocked my head to the side and I guessed out loud. There was this “person” milling about the ring and leaning on a turnbuckle. From a distance she seemed feminine. Even in high def, Mo’Kelly didn’t want to say he was definitively sure.

I said, “I don’t know, “maybe” a ring girl…publicist…groupie or some sordid combination of all three.”

Mo’Kelly just didn’t recognize her.

Out stepped ring announcer Michael Buffer. First the Philippine national anthem, then the Mexican national anthem (although there were no “Mexicans” fighting) and then came the main event.

No, not De La Hoya V. Pacquiao…

Mo’Kelly’s talking the Star-spangled Banner…courtesy of Keyshia Cole. Imagine a 12-round duel to the death between Cole and common sense. Common sense lost and in lieu of flowers, Common Sense’s mama asks that you send Cole a new manager and publicist. Yes, on this occasion, common sense lost its fight miserably and the world has been a little bit funnier ever since.

Imagine it’s Halloween and some girl came to school after not being able to make up her mind between Pam Grier’s Coffy, Tina Turner’s Beyond Thunderdome and a Dr. Evil Black fembot. Instead, Cole chose to mix all three together.

Mo’Kelly’s not sure if the wig was on backwards after sleeping in it the night before with too much hairspray…but whatever it was, it was all wrong. Common sense went down in the first round with an overhand right.

And that was just the hair.

Then…there was the “outfit.”

Think “Sheena, Queen of the Jungle” meets “Keyshia The Beige Pool Table.” Mo’Kelly wasn’t sure if it was Eartha Kitt (Lady Eloise) from the movie Boomerang or “Lady Cinnamon” from The First Kings strip club here in Los Angeles.

“Marrrrrrrrcus darling…”

Mo’Kelly didn’t know whether to call PETA or call “8-ball, corner pocket.”

It was just all so confusing. “Common sense” was getting its a$$ kicked in the corner and the ref refused to step in and stop this debacle. Mo’Kelly remembers shouting at the TV before she even sang one note…

“STOP THE FIGHT!…THROW THE TOWEL!”

People at the fight party were looking at Mo’Kelly like he was crazy. But I knew…somebody was about to die and somebody needed to put a stop to it. And when exactly did a bullet bra bustier/mini skirt seem like a good idea? EVER?! At what point did she initially put that frock on and her handlers say…”Girl, you look good!”

Get the frock out of here!

Mo’Kelly brings this up because he used to work for Cole’s label, Interscope Records and knows quite a few of her “handlers.” Marselle Washington, Adam Favors, Garrett Williams…I blame y’all. All y’all. You’re my boys…but I put this on you.

I blame Y’ALL!

It doesn’t matter what Cole’s manager Manny Halley has to say…you should’ve stepped in and stopped the fight before “common sense” got its ass killed. Its blood is on your hands. She should have never been allowed to step into the ring and common sense paid the ultimate price.

Left hook to the jaw. Down goes common sense! Down goes common sense!

But…”common sense” got back up…wanting to fight some more. And then came…the song.

The SONG!

Just a suggestion…”common sense” dictates that if you have pitch problems, maybe you should concentrate more on getting the pitch right and less on the ubiquitous and unnecessary “runs.” Then again, “common sense” was not going to win ANY fight Saturday night. Common sense never had a chance. Thoughts and prayers to Mama Sense and her other child, Decency. Marselle, Adam, Garrett…I blame y’all.

The Mo’Kelly Report is an entertainment journal with a political slant; published weekly at www.eurweb.com. It is meant to inform, infuse and incite meaningful discourse…as well as entertain. The Mo’Kelly Report is syndicated by Newstex and Blogburst. For more Mo’Kelly, http://www.MrMoKelly.com.

Subscribe in a reader or by email

Morris W. O’Kelly can be reached at Mo@MrMoKelly.com and he welcomes all commentary.

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Saturday evening I was settling in with friends, watching the preliminary bouts leading up to what would become the destruction of Oscar De La Hoya by Manny Pacquiao.

Not to digress too far, but for those unfamiliar with the typical PPV boxing event, it’s rare that any real boxing “stars” appear on the undercard. Usually it’s an amalgam of “might be” stars and their journeymen opponents; in the hopes of a quick knock out to generate excitement for future matches down the road.

In other words, the undercards for PPV matches are usually BOO BOO, more times than not.

Saturday night was the exception.

(Well…kinda sorta.)

The undercard bout Mo’Kelly is referring to took place in the ring alright, right before the main event. But it wasn’t exactly officially listed on the undercard.

My boy Frankie leaned over to me and asked who was “that” in the ring. I looked, squinted, cocked my head to the side and I guessed out loud. There was this “person” milling about the ring and leaning on a turnbuckle. From a distance she seemed feminine. Even in high def, Mo’Kelly didn’t want to say he was definitively sure.

I said, “I don’t know, “maybe” a ring girl…publicist…groupie or some sordid combination of all three.”

Mo’Kelly just didn’t recognize her.

Out stepped ring announcer Michael Buffer. First the Philippine national anthem, then the Mexican national anthem (although there were no “Mexicans” fighting) and then came the main event.

No, not De La Hoya V. Pacquiao…

Mo’Kelly’s talking the Star-spangled Banner…courtesy of Keyshia Cole. Imagine a 12-round duel to the death between Cole and common sense. Common sense lost and in lieu of flowers, Common Sense’s mama asks that you send Cole a new manager and publicist. Yes, on this occasion, common sense lost its fight miserably and the world has been a little bit funnier ever since.

Imagine it’s Halloween and some girl came to school after not being able to make up her mind between Pam Grier’s Coffy, Tina Turner’s Beyond Thunderdome and a Dr. Evil Black fembot. Instead, Cole chose to mix all three together.

Mo’Kelly’s not sure if the wig was on backwards after sleeping in it the night before with too much hairspray…but whatever it was, it was all wrong. Common sense went down in the first round with an overhand right.

And that was just the hair.

Then…there was the “outfit.”

Think “Sheena, Queen of the Jungle” meets “Keyshia The Beige Pool Table.” Mo’Kelly wasn’t sure if it was Eartha Kitt (Lady Eloise) from the movie Boomerang or “Lady Cinnamon” from The First Kings strip club here in Los Angeles.

“Marrrrrrrrcus darling…”

Mo’Kelly didn’t know whether to call PETA or call “8-ball, corner pocket.”

It was just all so confusing. “Common sense” was getting its a$$ kicked in the corner and the ref refused to step in and stop this debacle. Mo’Kelly remembers shouting at the TV before she even sang one note…

“STOP THE FIGHT!…THROW THE TOWEL!”

People at the fight party were looking at Mo’Kelly like he was crazy. But I knew…somebody was about to die and somebody needed to put a stop to it. And when exactly did a bullet bra bustier/mini skirt seem like a good idea? EVER?! At what point did she initially put that frock on and her handlers say…”Girl, you look good!”

Get the frock out of here!

Mo’Kelly brings this up because he used to work for Cole’s label, Interscope Records and knows quite a few of her “handlers.” Marselle Washington, Adam Favors, Garrett Williams…I blame y’all. All y’all. You’re my boys…but I put this on you.

I blame Y’ALL!

It doesn’t matter what Cole’s manager Manny Halley has to say…you should’ve stepped in and stopped the fight before “common sense” got its ass killed. Its blood is on your hands. She should have never been allowed to step into the ring and common sense paid the ultimate price.

Left hook to the jaw. Down goes common sense! Down goes common sense!

But…”common sense” got back up…wanting to fight some more. And then came…the song.

The SONG!

Just a suggestion…”common sense” dictates that if you have pitch problems, maybe you should concentrate more on getting the pitch right and less on the ubiquitous and unnecessary “runs.” Then again, “common sense” was not going to win ANY fight Saturday night. Common sense never had a chance. Thoughts and prayers to Mama Sense and her other child, Decency. Marselle, Adam, Garrett…I blame y’all.

The Mo’Kelly Report is an entertainment journal with a political slant; published weekly at www.eurweb.com. It is meant to inform, infuse and incite meaningful discourse…as well as entertain. The Mo’Kelly Report is syndicated by Newstex and Blogburst. For more Mo’Kelly, http://www.mokellyreport.blogspot.com.

Subscribe in a reader or by email

Morris W. O’Kelly can be reached at mokellyreport@sbcglobal.net and he welcomes all commentary.

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Why…just WHY!

RELATED: Ray J Sings the National Anthem

The Mo’Kelly Report is an entertainment journal with a political slant; published weekly at www.eurweb.com. It is meant to inform, infuse and incite meaningful discourse…as well as entertain. The Mo’Kelly Report is syndicated by Newstex and Blogburst. For more Mo’Kelly, http://www.MrMoKelly.com.

Subscribe in a reader or by email

Morris W. O’Kelly can be reached at Mo@MrMoKelly.com and he welcomes all commentary.

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Why…just WHY!

RELATED: Ray J Sings the National Anthem

The Mo’Kelly Report is an entertainment journal with a political slant; published weekly at www.eurweb.com. It is meant to inform, infuse and incite meaningful discourse…as well as entertain. The Mo’Kelly Report is syndicated by Newstex and Blogburst. For more Mo’Kelly, http://www.MrMoKelly.com.

Subscribe in a reader or by email

Morris W. O’Kelly can be reached at Mo@MrMoKelly.com and he welcomes all commentary.

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Why…just WHY!

RELATED: Ray J Sings the National Anthem

The Mo’Kelly Report is an entertainment journal with a political slant; published weekly at www.eurweb.com. It is meant to inform, infuse and incite meaningful discourse…as well as entertain. The Mo’Kelly Report is syndicated by Newstex and Blogburst. For more Mo’Kelly, http://www.mokellyreport.blogspot.com.

Subscribe in a reader or by email

Morris W. O’Kelly can be reached at mokellyreport@sbcglobal.net and he welcomes all commentary.

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