Why the California state Franchise Tax Board hasn’t come to Mo’Kelly to help them “recoup” on two of their biggest tax cheats is beyond comprehension. Just in case you haven’t heard the news, the Franchise Tax Board released a report detailing their “biggest tax cheats.”
Let’s stop right there.
See, that’s the difference between the IRS and the California Franchise Tax Board. The Franchise Tax Board “releases a report” trying to embarrass and guilt you into paying what you owe. The IRS on the other hand, will come get you and your mama’s Black ass post haste. That right there is reason enough to understand why the state of California is bankrupt. You don’t post public “invoices” for payment. You go collect…period.
But Mo’Kelly digresses…
According to this “report,” two of the biggest offenders are comedian Sinbad and singer Dionne Warwick. They owe 2.5 and 2.2 million in state back taxes respectively.
OK, let’s get the obligatory Dionne Warwick “Psychic Friends Network” joke
out of the way right now. Let’s all say it together…
“I guess Dionne’s ‘ psychic friends’ weren’t all that ‘psychic’ …otherwise they would’ve seen this coming.”
(Or some tired variation of that.)
That obvious and low-hanging-fruit joke aside, there are some things which CLEARLY jump out at Mo’Kelly and seemingly nobody is bringing it up. So The Mo’Kelly Report will have to do its part in helping bringing these tax fugitives to justice.
First, who knew Sinbad was rolling like THAT?! If you owe 2.5 milli in STATE taxes, imagine what he was paying in FEDERAL…and imagine what he was GROSSING!
The next successful movie Sinbad has will be his first. Don’t get Mo’Kelly wrong, Sinbad is mad cool people and is thankful to this day for the $50 he gave Mo’Kelly and 7 of his frat brothers to step in a George Clinton music video back in say…’93 ish.
Check it out below.
But how does one have a lukewarm comedy career, an abysmal movie career and end up OWING millions?! Mo’Kelly understands being “broke” but being broke AND in the hole to the state government for MILLIONS?! How does that happen?
Evidently that “alleged” affair with R&B singer Tracie Spencer cost more than just his marriage. But Mo’Kelly is NOT mad at Sinbad. Mo’Kelly would’ve smashed too and understood his plight.
Sinbad? Stacking chips like THAT?! Incredible. Mo’Kelly is in the wrong business. Mo’Kelly needs to be less funny and involved with less successful film and TV projects and leave this blogging stuff alone. Because clearly, Sinbad up until Tracie Spencer (allegedly) was making a killing! Great googly moogly! If the Franchise Tax Board wants to get their money, check Sinbad’s ex-wife and garnish some of her alimony or knock on the door of Tracie Spencer. We can assume she “put it on him”…and when that happens, she gets whatever a man has after that. Those are the rules…
But back to Patrick Ewing.
The reason why Patrick Ewing owes 2.2 million in state taxes is…
Readers, please STOP interrupting Mo’Kelly. Readers, please stop trying to correct Mo’Kelly. Mo’Kelly MEANT EXACTLY what he said. He said PATRICK EWING. No, he did not mean to say “Dionne Warwick.”
See, what the Franchise Tax Board doesn’t seem to understand is that Patrick Ewing and Dionne Warwick are the SAME PERSON! And THAT is why they can’t seem to pin “Patrick Warwick” or “Dionne Ewing” down and get their money.
OK, find one picture ANYWHERE on the internet where both of them are in the same room…
You laughed at the employees of the Daily Planet who didn’t realize Superman and Clark Kent were the same person, but Patrick Warwick has been sitting under your nose for the past 25 years and nobody but Mo’Kelly has figured it out.
Hear Mo’Kelly out.
The Psychic Friends Network began running commercials in 1992…Patrick Ewing was last good in 1992.
In 1993, Forrest Sawyer, host of the ABC News/Entertainment program “Day One”, alleged financial improprieties by the Warwick Foundation, founded in 1989 to benefit AIDS patients, particularly Dionne Warwick’s charity concert performances organized to benefit the organization. ABC alleged the Foundation was operating at a near 90% administrative cost. ABC also alleged that Warwick flew first class and was accommodated at first class hotels for charity concerts and events in which she participated for the Foundation.
Also in 1993 5’3” Muggsy Bogues blocked the shot of “Patrick Ewing”…who allegedly was 7’0” tall. Muggsy could block Dionne’s shot…but Patrick’s?
The year of 1993…everthing goes to hell for both “Patrick” and “Dionne.” Coincidence?
I think not.
And now, for the most damning evidence…look at these photographs.
Your honor, Mo’Kelly rests his case. Find “Patrick Ewing” and you will find “Dionne Warwick” and the 2.2 milli owed. Look at the nose, the cheek bones…put some foundation, blush and a perm on “Patrick” and you have one of the most successful singers in music history.
Find “Patrick Ewing” and you’ll find the money.
You’re welcome Franchise Tax Board.
The Mo’Kelly Report is an entertainment journal with a political slant; published weekly at www.eurweb.com. It is meant to inform, infuse and incite meaningful discourse…as well as entertain. The Mo’Kelly Report is syndicated by Blogburst. For more Mo’Kelly, http://www.MrMoKelly.com. Mo’Kelly can be reached at Mo@MrMoKelly.com and he welcomes all commentary.
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