Stephen Jackson (STILL) Isn't Very Bright
It must be time for the NBA season to begin. How do I know? Indiana Pacers guard Stephen Jackson is back in the news for something having nothing to do with basketball.
That’s how I know.
There was the brawl at the Palace of Auburn Hills. You know, that unprecedented melee in all of NBA history in which he went into the stands after random fans, to “defend” his former teammate and presently psychologically unbalanced Ron Artest.
His alleged justification; he was “defending” his teammate. Although Artest was five rows up in the stands and nowhere near the basketball court…Jackson will tell you he was “defending” Artest, who at the time was punching out the wrong guy for dumping a beer on him.
One season later he decided to come out against the NBA dress code, alleging that the policy of shirts with collars and the prohibition of sunglasses indoors was racist in nature; although he couldn’t see any correlation between his Auburn Hills behavior and this policy.
So as I look at the news and see Stephen Jackson’s name prominently featured once again…it’s only appropriate that the story has nothing to do with basketball.
When I last wrote about Stephen’s misguided public behavior, I received a number of emails from Stephen’s mother and cousin chastising me for how “wrong” and “mean-spirited” my commentary happened to be. How “misguided” I was for speaking out against their family member.
“I am sorry for you if your stupidity and your hatred for Stephen makes you this stressful, but I can guarantee you I am not the only person who thinks you have a personal vendetta against Stephen.”
- Judyette Jackson (his momma, via email) 10.26.05
First of all, you know you’ve touched a nerve when someone’s MOMMA emails you. Secondly, since when does an already “feminine” name like “Judy” need a secondary feminine qualifier like “ette?” Isn’t that redundant?
“Patricia-ette”
“Lisa-ette”
“La Quita-ette”
But I digress.
For the uninitiated, “Stephen-ette” is presently awaiting a pretrial hearing on a felony charge of criminal recklessness and misdemeanor counts of battery and disorderly conduct for firing off a handgun in the air at least five times during an altercation outside a strip club.
Jackson is already serving probation after pleading no contest to misdemeanor assault and battery charges in relation to the aforementioned brawl at the Palace of Auburn Hills and is facing up to three months in jail for this present possible probation violation. The criminal reckless charge carries a prison term of six months to three years.
Where in the hell do I start?
I’m not a probation officer, but I did sleep with a very fine woman at a Holiday Inn Express last night.
Dear Mama Judyette:
If your son is on probation, he probably shouldn’t be out trying to re-enact a fight scene from The Players Club. You know; the part when Ice Cube tries to break up Luther Campbell’s Champagne Room party? C’mon, you remember the scene; when Michael Clarke Duncan punches comedian Alex Thomas in the back of the neck? What was your probation son Stephen-ette Jackson doing at the Club Rio strip club with a gun? There’s no sex (or shooting) in the Champagne Room. All men know the rules. How is that the fault of Mo’Kelly?
That’s not a vendetta on my part, that’s sheer stupidity on Stephen-ette’s part. Know the difference and I accept your forthcoming apology.
————-
I Judyette Jackson, do hereby apologize for the continuing stupidity of my son and I had no business losing sight of reality. Mo’Kelly was right and I, Judyette was trippin’.
X___________________________
Judyette Jackson
————–
(please print out, sign and fax to my secretary)
And before you bring up the part where Stephen-ette was run over by a car that night; let the record reflect that Stephen-ette fired his gun BEFORE the car tried to take him out.
“I’m in a situation now where people thought I acted recklessly, when I know I didn’t.” – Stephen-ette Jackson
Oh really now?!
Despite what your son may have you believe, shooting a gun into the air legally qualifies as reckless endangerment. As difficult as that may be to believe, bullets flying in no particular direction are slightly dangerous to the public at large. They fall back to Earth (i.e. gravity) approaching 90 mph and easily could kill an innocent bystander.
That’s not a vendetta on my part, that’s MORE stupidity on Stephen-ette’s part. Don’t knuckle up on Mo’Kelly because Mo’Kelly is speaking the truth. Mo’Kelly didn’t start set-trippin’ in the stands and he didn’t tell Stephen-ette to pack his Nina before he left to get his lap dances. That’s all on him. Mo’Kelly’s never even visited Indiana.
This isn’t about what Stephen-ette “thinks” because he obviously isn’t the brightest candle on the chocolate birthday cake. “Thinking,” clearly is not his strong suit. Like I’ve always said; Steve-o can go strong to the rack, but when it comes to “thinking” my intellectual crossover will break the ankles of everyone in the Jackson household; Stephen-ette, Judyette, cousins Christine and Tito too.
But Mo’Kelly digresses…
“I was merely defending my teammates.” – Stephen-ette Jackson 10.15.06
There’s that “defending” excuse again. Everybody knows the rules when it comes to a gun. Don’t pull it out unless you plan to use it. And if “using” it constitutes shooting into the air and not at someone; then obviously Stephen-ette’s “teammates” were not in grave danger. And since the gunshots came BEFORE somebody tried to run Stephen-ette over, the gun didn’t do much to protect Stephen-ette either. He might as well have left it at home with the rest of his common sense.
Each time Stephen-ette “defends” someone, he catches a case…I see a pattern here. If the strip clubs in Indiana are THAT dangerous, then maybe your son should try internet escort dating instead.
There comes a point and time in which this 28-year old man must be held accountable for his actions and I suspect the state of Indiana is getting ready to agree with me. If a man can’t understand that leaving the bench to fight fans during basketball games is not a good idea, he must suffer the consequences.
And if as a man, while awaiting the criminal consequences of the aforementioned “lapse in judgment” you decide to pick up a gun and use it outside a strip club while on probation, you must suffer the consequences.
Mo’Kelly doesn’t “hate” Steverino or anyone else for that matter. But you can best be sure that when a public figure engages in ridiculous and more importantly, felonious behavior, the media is well within its right to cover it, editorialize and in this case clown in response to it.
When Even-Stephen manages to consistently avoid publicly embarrassing the Indiana Pacers and piling up criminal charges, then you and your family Judyette can avoid ending up in The Mo’Kelly Repo
rt. Until that time comes, I have these words of advice for when you visit Stevie this holiday season…
“Visitors are not to attempt to make physical contact or pass contraband to inmates and violators are subject to arrest and prosecution.” – State of Indiana: Department of Corrections
And you might want to jot down this ancillary information into your Palm Pilot for future reference:
From the intersection of US 421 and US 20 go west on US 20; turn north on Hitchcock Road. Travel Hitchcock for about 1 ½ miles. The Indiana State Prison will be located on the left.
Maximum Security Visiting Hours
Attorney Visits: 8:00 a.m. – 4:00 p.m. daily, Reservations required.
General Population: 11:00 a.m. – 5:30 p.m.
Administrative Segregation: 7:00 a.m.-10:30 a.m. Mon-Fri 7:00 a.m.-3:00 p.m. weekends & holidays.
Administrative Non-Contact: 8:00 a.m.-4:00 p.m. Mon-Fri only excluding holidays.
Disciplinary Segregation: 8:00 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Mon-Fri only, excluding holidays.
The Mo’Kelly Report is an entertainment journal with a political slant. It is meant to inform, infuse and incite meaningful discourse…as well as entertain. But some days, it’s just all about the Jackson family. For more Mo’Kelly – http://mokellyreport.blogspot.com. Morris W. O’Kelly can be reached at Mo@MrMoKelly.com and he welcomes all commentary from the Jackson family not on trial.



Mo, you know that he fruit don't fall too far from the tree…..Judy-ette….too funny